SCHIZO-ALIAS

Musings about Japan and life as a human, a cosplayer, a minority, a music lover, an English teacher.

“Sensei, why are you single?”

Coming out of the restroom, I was greeted by some 3rd graders doing homework in the library area.

“Sensei, where’s your house?”
In Japan.
“Eh?! Not America?”
No! It would take more than half a day to get here!
“Ahhhh…so where do you live? Osaka?”
Here in Ono!
“Ahhhh…aren’t you married to XX-sensei?” (their previous teacher)
No, we’re just friends!
“Sensei, how old are your parents?”
Let’s see…my dad will be ___ this year, and my mom is ___.
“Ehhhhh…How do you know their ages?”
Eh?! Because it’s important!
“Really?? Why is it important?”
Because I love my parents!!!!!!

“Sensei, how old are you?”
I’m 23.
“Are you married?”
No.
“Eh? Are you dating someone?”
No.
“Eh?! You’re single?”
Yup.
“Why are you single?”
HAHAHA! “Why?” Because single life is fun!
“Eh? Really? It’s not scary?”
*laughs* No, of course not!
“So Sensei, when you’re by yourself at home and you’re talking to yourself, do you talk in English or Japanese?”
*hysterical laughter* Actually, when I hurt myself, instead of “ouch” I say “イタッ” And when something is hot I say “アツッ.”
“Eh?!?! Wow!”

“Sensei, what type of guy do you like? Like someone from this school.”
Eh? I don’t like any male teachers here.
“No? Okay, what kind of guy do you like?”
Hm…someone who’s smart, fun, and handsome**.
“Handsome? *points at me* Handsome!”
No, I’m beautiful!
“Nope!”
Eh?!?! *clutches chest* いたい…いたいよ…
*laughs*
I’m a beautiful person, aren’t I?
“You can’t say that about yourself!”
*falls over laughing*

Kids are hilarious.

*”イタッ” (ita–) and “アツッ” (atsu–) are shortened forms of “いたい” (itai) and”あつい” (atsui).
**The word I used for “handsome” was 男前 (otokomae), which means “handsome man.”

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